DENVER—Appearing inexplicably mesmerized by the unremarkable scenery below, Delta flight 2127 passenger Richard Hart, 38, was glued to the window of the Airbus A321 “like it was fucking 1956,” travellers…
COLORADO SPRINGS, CO—Noting the couple’s dull conversation and bored expressions while dining at the otherwise enchanting Pepper Tree Restaurant, bystanders marked all the telltale signs of a terrible first date…
BOSTON—Regaling her sister’s sons with previously untold stories from adolescence, local aunt Sherri Neely scored big Monday with her nephews Bobby and Ben Cecil by dropping the bombshell story about…
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LANCASTER, PA—Awestruck by the sight of their longtime colleague struggling out of his jacket and adjusting his cuffs, coworkers found themselves agog Monday as data analyst Drew Terrell introduced a…
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CANCUN, MEXICO—Insisting none of the myriad souvenirs before him could possibly capture the all-inclusive resort’s fantastic buffet, local man Robert Washburn told reporters Wednesday he feared his Cancun vacation was…
Read more... This Actually Good News, Contractor Reveals, Because Now You Know The Real Problem was orginially posted by The Onion
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SHAKER HEIGHTS, OH—Visibly wincing while watching the sensei’s assistant being slammed repeatedly to the tatami mat, onlookers at Buckeye Aikido Academy confirmed Wednesday that understudy Barry Eiselmann was getting his…
ATLANTA—Saying it was standard for any expecting mother’s 20-week checkup, ultrasound technician Jean Krebacher asked one of her pregnant patients Tuesday if she would like to know the name of…